Beyond Shadows (14th entry)

Brian O'Connor
St. Patrick square
10 pm

"You're crazy."
I could still hear her voice right next to my ears. Shaky, with an almost laugh from her lips. She thought I was insane but I could not even be mad of her or blame her and tell her, "Well yes, I already am and it's because I'm too afraid of losing you."

"Dammit." My head dropped on my back. I thought I was just taking this thing so serious. She wanted me to stay away from her. She said she didn't want me around her. She even pleaded. How could I leave her if doing it means death for her? And what was she doing here in the streets tonight anyway? I lift my head straight and scanned the area. "Shit." O, yes, I'd cursed a lot today. Maybe it was just this damned feeling of mine after that conversation with her. I was too frustrated and too much rejected by her that I almost fought with the police officer who charged me of turning on a wrong point. Now I lost her again. For the third time tonight. I was so careless. No, maybe it was her. Perhaps she was scanning the whole area for any sign of me as much as I did to keep her in sight. She wouldn't let me spy on her anymore.

A lot of people was in the square tonight, excited for a night get along. Good for them, too bad for me. I found it difficult to find her with my car so chose to leave it in the parking area near the cathedral and tried to track her down. She was alone and I didn't know what the hell was she thinking. She didn't want walking on the crowd but now here she was. I felt the filthy air on me and then I realized I left my coat on the car. I didn't care. She worth more than a coat.

I had left the crowd in a hurry and found nothing. Not one trace of her. And I discovered I was on shallow street at the west end of the square. She wasn't here of course. She wouldn't dare go in a dark, foul smelling road with addicts everywhere. I was about to leave.
"So, you won't really...stop following me?"