Ameylia White
Dublin Hospital
1AM
Brian was the last person I thought would stalk me, or even talk to me. He was the last guy...ever, I thought would save me..But he did...He saved me, twice. He was nothing to me...No one..In fact he always got me pissed off of him. Just one sneak at me and my day was a mess. If he would just disappear now, I would thank God a million times. But I was terribly insane about seeing him now, with his leg on braces and his right arm mummified with bandages. Guess it was guilt.
My hands were shaking and my thoughts were jumbled like a jigsaw that I sometimes could not figure out which was what and where was which. I was worried that something may happen to Brian. I was too afraid because I knew it was my fault. I shouldn't had refused to go with him out of the square. But it wasn't my sole fault!! I didn't tell him to follow me! He did. I'd told him to stop but he continued following me! It was his wrong too!!
"You hurt?"
It felt like I was hit in the head when I heard the voice. It made me woke up from a deep sense of blames and confusions. He was awake. That fast?
Brian was lying on the bed with his head on a layer of cottony soft pillows. He was staring at me..again..and I really hated it everytime he did.
"I'm sorry,, it was my fault," Brian said cradling up to sit. I saw how it hurt him when he moved. With that, my conscience told me I should help him. So I sat up from the sofa and walked towards him. I felt my stomach flattened...my throat dried and my heart punched a thousand times on my chest. Brian shouldn't be lying here like a kid bullied in Day care. But I just stood there- looking at his face...full with bruises.
"You shouldn't have...followed me there...,"I whispered, not so sure he heard it.
Brian smiled and looked down to the patches of little tubes pinned on his skin.
"Then you would have been dead by now." Then he looked up at me with the most serious him I ever saw.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Friday, November 20, 2009
Beyond Shadows (15th entry)
Ameylia White
St. Patrick's Square
10:45pm
I knew my brain was filled with everything about Brian. About that first day and how he stole glances at me. About that night when he stopped the car before the accident. About that conversation and how he spoke words which seemed to come from the other planet and about him here, now, in front of me cold in the winter air. He was still following me. And I hated it.
"What the hell you think you're doing here?" He whispered loudly then spied conspicuously at the beggars and other street people around whose eyes were on us.
"First a stalker, now you're my father huh?" I said ignoring his question.
"We got to get outta here." He said grabbing me on the arm and pulling me.
I jerked and free my arm. What did he want?
"Ameylia, stop doing this. Are you...are you trying to kill yourself?"
Kill myself? I chuckled and it was the most precious one i had. "I thought you know me. The street is my home." It was true. We fought dance competitions on streets. Guessed it was enough for me to call it home. He looked mad and concerned. No, not of course. It wasn't concern. Maybe it was something else.
"Ameylia...listen. Stop doing this..You're not like this."
"You stop doing this to me Brian."
We had gotten too much attention. I knew and I knew he did too. And when a huge man on a dirty black coat stood and started walking towards our way, I was scared. I smelled alcohol even when he was not near enough from me. I easily got scared, yes, all the time. On my genes, I guessed. But I wasn't coward so I just stood there and pretended to be okay. I looked at the guy and realized he was between 30 and 35 of years. I wasn't coward. I could stand by myself. I wasn't afraid. But Brian stood before me. " Don't move. Stay on my back okay? " I heard him siad under his breath. He was afraid. God! yeah, I was sure I could sense tension from him. "If this guy mess up, run. You hear me?"
"What?"
"Somefing wrong 'ere?" The man said. His eyes as red as blood. His moustache covering his thin lips. His smoke- smelling breath reached my nose. It stinked.
"Nothing. "
The man looked at me. I stared but Brian moved a bit more to hide me from the guy. I could feel my heart pounding.
"We're leaving..." Brian's voice broke the silence. It was with tense and i saw why. Two more men were on their way to us. trouble. All I could sense was the big trouble coming.
"Nice girl huh, ya gilfwend?" The man smirked.
No, of course not. "No." At least Brian didn't lie this time. "Not yet."
"What are you saying?"
"We have to go. nice meeting you fellas.." Then there he was again, grabbing me on the arm and pulled me out of the place.
"Don't touch me.. you.."
"They're gonna hurt you.."
"hey, you wait fo' me eah? Why not 'ave good time?"
I heard laughs from behind and hearing this made my feet faster. I forgot about Brian's hand on my arm. Running, we were almost running but not faster enough than the sound of feet rushing to us with laughters behind. I could picture it out on my head. Three drunk men running after us.
"Hurry.. run..go!" Brian let go of me. No, the men got him!
"Run!" He shouted as the two other men held him on both arms. The first man was running towards me.
"Run Amy! Get yourself out of here! Ah!!" They were hurting him.
Run. Run Amy. Shit! Why I couldn't leave him here. Let these guys kill him so he wouldn't ever go after me again?
"No."
"C'mon 'ere babe."
Brian shouting. Men punching and kicking him. Drunk man running towards me. And me, standing...staring at how stupid Brian was, telling me to leave him.
And a second...A familiar sound. Siren.
St. Patrick's Square
10:45pm
I knew my brain was filled with everything about Brian. About that first day and how he stole glances at me. About that night when he stopped the car before the accident. About that conversation and how he spoke words which seemed to come from the other planet and about him here, now, in front of me cold in the winter air. He was still following me. And I hated it.
"What the hell you think you're doing here?" He whispered loudly then spied conspicuously at the beggars and other street people around whose eyes were on us.
"First a stalker, now you're my father huh?" I said ignoring his question.
"We got to get outta here." He said grabbing me on the arm and pulling me.
I jerked and free my arm. What did he want?
"Ameylia, stop doing this. Are you...are you trying to kill yourself?"
Kill myself? I chuckled and it was the most precious one i had. "I thought you know me. The street is my home." It was true. We fought dance competitions on streets. Guessed it was enough for me to call it home. He looked mad and concerned. No, not of course. It wasn't concern. Maybe it was something else.
"Ameylia...listen. Stop doing this..You're not like this."
"You stop doing this to me Brian."
We had gotten too much attention. I knew and I knew he did too. And when a huge man on a dirty black coat stood and started walking towards our way, I was scared. I smelled alcohol even when he was not near enough from me. I easily got scared, yes, all the time. On my genes, I guessed. But I wasn't coward so I just stood there and pretended to be okay. I looked at the guy and realized he was between 30 and 35 of years. I wasn't coward. I could stand by myself. I wasn't afraid. But Brian stood before me. " Don't move. Stay on my back okay? " I heard him siad under his breath. He was afraid. God! yeah, I was sure I could sense tension from him. "If this guy mess up, run. You hear me?"
"What?"
"Somefing wrong 'ere?" The man said. His eyes as red as blood. His moustache covering his thin lips. His smoke- smelling breath reached my nose. It stinked.
"Nothing. "
The man looked at me. I stared but Brian moved a bit more to hide me from the guy. I could feel my heart pounding.
"We're leaving..." Brian's voice broke the silence. It was with tense and i saw why. Two more men were on their way to us. trouble. All I could sense was the big trouble coming.
"Nice girl huh, ya gilfwend?" The man smirked.
No, of course not. "No." At least Brian didn't lie this time. "Not yet."
"What are you saying?"
"We have to go. nice meeting you fellas.." Then there he was again, grabbing me on the arm and pulled me out of the place.
"Don't touch me.. you.."
"They're gonna hurt you.."
"hey, you wait fo' me eah? Why not 'ave good time?"
I heard laughs from behind and hearing this made my feet faster. I forgot about Brian's hand on my arm. Running, we were almost running but not faster enough than the sound of feet rushing to us with laughters behind. I could picture it out on my head. Three drunk men running after us.
"Hurry.. run..go!" Brian let go of me. No, the men got him!
"Run!" He shouted as the two other men held him on both arms. The first man was running towards me.
"Run Amy! Get yourself out of here! Ah!!" They were hurting him.
Run. Run Amy. Shit! Why I couldn't leave him here. Let these guys kill him so he wouldn't ever go after me again?
"No."
"C'mon 'ere babe."
Brian shouting. Men punching and kicking him. Drunk man running towards me. And me, standing...staring at how stupid Brian was, telling me to leave him.
And a second...A familiar sound. Siren.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Beyond Shadows (14th entry)
Brian O'Connor
St. Patrick square
10 pm
"You're crazy."
I could still hear her voice right next to my ears. Shaky, with an almost laugh from her lips. She thought I was insane but I could not even be mad of her or blame her and tell her, "Well yes, I already am and it's because I'm too afraid of losing you."
"Dammit." My head dropped on my back. I thought I was just taking this thing so serious. She wanted me to stay away from her. She said she didn't want me around her. She even pleaded. How could I leave her if doing it means death for her? And what was she doing here in the streets tonight anyway? I lift my head straight and scanned the area. "Shit." O, yes, I'd cursed a lot today. Maybe it was just this damned feeling of mine after that conversation with her. I was too frustrated and too much rejected by her that I almost fought with the police officer who charged me of turning on a wrong point. Now I lost her again. For the third time tonight. I was so careless. No, maybe it was her. Perhaps she was scanning the whole area for any sign of me as much as I did to keep her in sight. She wouldn't let me spy on her anymore.
A lot of people was in the square tonight, excited for a night get along. Good for them, too bad for me. I found it difficult to find her with my car so chose to leave it in the parking area near the cathedral and tried to track her down. She was alone and I didn't know what the hell was she thinking. She didn't want walking on the crowd but now here she was. I felt the filthy air on me and then I realized I left my coat on the car. I didn't care. She worth more than a coat.
I had left the crowd in a hurry and found nothing. Not one trace of her. And I discovered I was on shallow street at the west end of the square. She wasn't here of course. She wouldn't dare go in a dark, foul smelling road with addicts everywhere. I was about to leave.
"So, you won't really...stop following me?"
St. Patrick square
10 pm
"You're crazy."
I could still hear her voice right next to my ears. Shaky, with an almost laugh from her lips. She thought I was insane but I could not even be mad of her or blame her and tell her, "Well yes, I already am and it's because I'm too afraid of losing you."
"Dammit." My head dropped on my back. I thought I was just taking this thing so serious. She wanted me to stay away from her. She said she didn't want me around her. She even pleaded. How could I leave her if doing it means death for her? And what was she doing here in the streets tonight anyway? I lift my head straight and scanned the area. "Shit." O, yes, I'd cursed a lot today. Maybe it was just this damned feeling of mine after that conversation with her. I was too frustrated and too much rejected by her that I almost fought with the police officer who charged me of turning on a wrong point. Now I lost her again. For the third time tonight. I was so careless. No, maybe it was her. Perhaps she was scanning the whole area for any sign of me as much as I did to keep her in sight. She wouldn't let me spy on her anymore.
A lot of people was in the square tonight, excited for a night get along. Good for them, too bad for me. I found it difficult to find her with my car so chose to leave it in the parking area near the cathedral and tried to track her down. She was alone and I didn't know what the hell was she thinking. She didn't want walking on the crowd but now here she was. I felt the filthy air on me and then I realized I left my coat on the car. I didn't care. She worth more than a coat.
I had left the crowd in a hurry and found nothing. Not one trace of her. And I discovered I was on shallow street at the west end of the square. She wasn't here of course. She wouldn't dare go in a dark, foul smelling road with addicts everywhere. I was about to leave.
"So, you won't really...stop following me?"
Beyond Shadows (13th entry)
Ameylia White
Dance Hall
7:30 pm
"Ameylia?" I almost jumped from where I was standing. I turned up quickly to see who called me, ignoring the water dripping from my face. It was break time and before I got here, inside the wash room of the hall, I saw everybody going out for snack.
I thought my adreline had all rushed to my head that I felt a sudden dizziness. But I was more shocked about who it was. He wasn't anyone from the group. "Are you alright?" he said and stepped once inside. "No, hey, stop." I backed off. I didn't know, but I was too afraid of him. I became aware of the water when it hurt my eyes so I wiped it off my face.
I saw him quivered. "Stay there." I was pointing at the door where he was but in fact, I meant , "Go away."
"It's ...for men and women, both." I guessed he was talking about the washroom. Oh, shit, yes, it was. But it didn't mean he could enter. Not unless I was out. Without looking at him, I rushed out past him and out of the place. The hall was still empty. What took them so long?! Good timing. Good God.
"Hey,ahm..I just wanna talk to you." I heard him say.
I had two choices. Run out and never, ever see him again. Or, face him, and end this all now.
I turned around to look at him, fearlessly. I knew I had to end this now, or I would be paranoid all my life. I waited. I felt he knew I wasn't comfortable so he stayed at his position, several armlenght from me. "I'm sorry about...the last time. I mean, about.."
"About following me everywhere?" Whew! Where was that braveness came from?! "O' Connor..."
"Brian. call me Brian."
"Ok, whatever." I thought I bit my lips. It was nervousness that made me so. I released a deep breath and look at him again. "What do you want? Why are you following me?"
"I'm sorry." He was. I could see it in his face right now. There was silence between us.
"If you don' wanna , you know, tell me about it,...fine. Just one thing. Please, leave me alone."
"I can't."
Okay, so this guy was a piece of...I was starting to lose my temper. It was then that i felt so much fatigue for the rehearsal. My legs ached so I sat down with my face bowed. "I'm sorry, I really can't tell you for now."
I didn't wanna talk. I was tired. "I just need you...to trust me."
"What?" my voice echoed and if my head could shout, it could have yelled all the words of hell I knew. "Trust you?" Now, with my voice a bit lower. "Trust you? A stranger? Mr. Brian O' whatever who came from somewhere and bubbled up here in West and stalked a stupid, Godamn, shit like me?" I thought I saw his jaw tightened. And it scared me a bit.
"You were...too...a stranger to me. But I trusted you."
What was he talking about?Was he, was he crazy?
He walked over and it made me stood up quickly. Dizziness struck me again. Good timing. I was stocked.
"I did. I am. And I will always trust you, entrust to you and your fate...my life."
Dance Hall
7:30 pm
"Ameylia?" I almost jumped from where I was standing. I turned up quickly to see who called me, ignoring the water dripping from my face. It was break time and before I got here, inside the wash room of the hall, I saw everybody going out for snack.
I thought my adreline had all rushed to my head that I felt a sudden dizziness. But I was more shocked about who it was. He wasn't anyone from the group. "Are you alright?" he said and stepped once inside. "No, hey, stop." I backed off. I didn't know, but I was too afraid of him. I became aware of the water when it hurt my eyes so I wiped it off my face.
I saw him quivered. "Stay there." I was pointing at the door where he was but in fact, I meant , "Go away."
"It's ...for men and women, both." I guessed he was talking about the washroom. Oh, shit, yes, it was. But it didn't mean he could enter. Not unless I was out. Without looking at him, I rushed out past him and out of the place. The hall was still empty. What took them so long?! Good timing. Good God.
"Hey,ahm..I just wanna talk to you." I heard him say.
I had two choices. Run out and never, ever see him again. Or, face him, and end this all now.
I turned around to look at him, fearlessly. I knew I had to end this now, or I would be paranoid all my life. I waited. I felt he knew I wasn't comfortable so he stayed at his position, several armlenght from me. "I'm sorry about...the last time. I mean, about.."
"About following me everywhere?" Whew! Where was that braveness came from?! "O' Connor..."
"Brian. call me Brian."
"Ok, whatever." I thought I bit my lips. It was nervousness that made me so. I released a deep breath and look at him again. "What do you want? Why are you following me?"
"I'm sorry." He was. I could see it in his face right now. There was silence between us.
"If you don' wanna , you know, tell me about it,...fine. Just one thing. Please, leave me alone."
"I can't."
Okay, so this guy was a piece of...I was starting to lose my temper. It was then that i felt so much fatigue for the rehearsal. My legs ached so I sat down with my face bowed. "I'm sorry, I really can't tell you for now."
I didn't wanna talk. I was tired. "I just need you...to trust me."
"What?" my voice echoed and if my head could shout, it could have yelled all the words of hell I knew. "Trust you?" Now, with my voice a bit lower. "Trust you? A stranger? Mr. Brian O' whatever who came from somewhere and bubbled up here in West and stalked a stupid, Godamn, shit like me?" I thought I saw his jaw tightened. And it scared me a bit.
"You were...too...a stranger to me. But I trusted you."
What was he talking about?Was he, was he crazy?
He walked over and it made me stood up quickly. Dizziness struck me again. Good timing. I was stocked.
"I did. I am. And I will always trust you, entrust to you and your fate...my life."
Beyond Shadows (12th entry)
Brian O' Connor
7th Drive
10pm
Ameylia just got worst. She hadn't had nice sleeps even more since we talked two days ago. And she started to avoid me. I knew she was trying not to look at me every second. But I couldn't do anything. I couldn't approach her. Another frustration- I could not even say "hi" to her. I should not. We shouldn't make any contact or I'll find it harder to do what I had to.Of course I couldn't tell her, "hey Ameylia, you know what? You're dying any time now, yeah, right now." Shit.
Her lights was still on and she had sneaked out of the window for the 10th time now since she got home from school. Maybe she was looking for that black Ford.Maybe it was what she had been watching over for some nights just before that stupid conversation. She was so weird. I meant, she could hardly notice things which were so apparent and yet, she noticed me already. Yeah, I knew. I wasn't good in this type of job like, a secret agent from an agency or something. And I had already accepted that in any day of the current week, I would be caught.
Wait. Brian, Brian think about it. No, she was not the weirdo. How did I miss it? She wasn't ignorant like what I was thinking of her. Remember Brian, she asked you. She confronted you. She had a hint already, so she was not ignorant for she got you. She knew you were that guy who was hiding on the shadows of every road she was taking. You were not a louzy stalker. You were just too obvious, but not because you were like this but because...you meant it. You never wanted to hide from her. You had always wanted to talk to her, to walk next to her, to drive her home and keep her safe in your own arms.Besides, you weren't just doing it for a dead Trent who asked you to protect her. You were doing it because you wanted to. You didn't want to see her being hurt, or being a victim of Morgan's dirty head. You could not stand to see her dying. Brian, this was the truth you could not escape... and deny.
The thought exhausted me. It made me put down the binocular in my hand and sat carelessly on the sofa. The chill got me off. It was the aircon, of course. It was my new apartment. 300 meters away from her's. I had a more lucid dream of her accident again last night, or day. I wasn't sure. It was a nap.and it alarmed me so much that I woke up sweating, pulled my clothes out the closet, packed it, payed the landlady and drag myself here, at 7th Drive- where she was. Was I too serious with what I vowed to Trent? Hell, I knew it wasn't the reason why I was like this anymore. Godammit. Brian, how could all these happen to you?
7th Drive
10pm
Ameylia just got worst. She hadn't had nice sleeps even more since we talked two days ago. And she started to avoid me. I knew she was trying not to look at me every second. But I couldn't do anything. I couldn't approach her. Another frustration- I could not even say "hi" to her. I should not. We shouldn't make any contact or I'll find it harder to do what I had to.Of course I couldn't tell her, "hey Ameylia, you know what? You're dying any time now, yeah, right now." Shit.
Her lights was still on and she had sneaked out of the window for the 10th time now since she got home from school. Maybe she was looking for that black Ford.Maybe it was what she had been watching over for some nights just before that stupid conversation. She was so weird. I meant, she could hardly notice things which were so apparent and yet, she noticed me already. Yeah, I knew. I wasn't good in this type of job like, a secret agent from an agency or something. And I had already accepted that in any day of the current week, I would be caught.
Wait. Brian, Brian think about it. No, she was not the weirdo. How did I miss it? She wasn't ignorant like what I was thinking of her. Remember Brian, she asked you. She confronted you. She had a hint already, so she was not ignorant for she got you. She knew you were that guy who was hiding on the shadows of every road she was taking. You were not a louzy stalker. You were just too obvious, but not because you were like this but because...you meant it. You never wanted to hide from her. You had always wanted to talk to her, to walk next to her, to drive her home and keep her safe in your own arms.Besides, you weren't just doing it for a dead Trent who asked you to protect her. You were doing it because you wanted to. You didn't want to see her being hurt, or being a victim of Morgan's dirty head. You could not stand to see her dying. Brian, this was the truth you could not escape... and deny.
The thought exhausted me. It made me put down the binocular in my hand and sat carelessly on the sofa. The chill got me off. It was the aircon, of course. It was my new apartment. 300 meters away from her's. I had a more lucid dream of her accident again last night, or day. I wasn't sure. It was a nap.and it alarmed me so much that I woke up sweating, pulled my clothes out the closet, packed it, payed the landlady and drag myself here, at 7th Drive- where she was. Was I too serious with what I vowed to Trent? Hell, I knew it wasn't the reason why I was like this anymore. Godammit. Brian, how could all these happen to you?
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Beyond Shadows (11th entry)
Ameylia White
12:41pm
He was so unbelievable. I couldn't believe he admitted it that easy.I meant, stalking was a serious matter and yet he claimed to do it without second thought. He even smiled. He managed to. Things were getting complicated. I didn't know but, there was this instinct telling me that we were somewhat connected. A link? But how? Why?
I didn't know, I really didn't. Dammit. Why did I walk out anyway? I could have answers from him if I wanted to, but I walked out! No, Ameylia. He was just so tough. He didn't want to give me answers. He didn't tell me exactly why he was following me. It was the biggest question, and the most important. I heard many stories like this one. Like, those of the celebrities. But I was not a superstar to attract maniacs like him. Ah! I was so frustrated. I couldn't handle him. Now that I knew it was him, I was more anxious about this guy. I didn't think I could talk to him once more. Or even look at him. Okay, that was it. I would just avoid him. Ignore him all year round. Until we separated ways.
I saw Shane coming with a tray of burger and her favorite soda. She sat beside me with a wide grin.
"Diet?" I said as I started to munch my sandwich I left frozen in the tray because of wondering about Brian.
"Not really. Alex told me I'm gettin' fat so...I'll just have these for lunch."
"You mean, THIS? You think a burger can burn your fats?"
"Haha. So, hello with your sandwich," and she grabbed the can and opened it.
She was talking about Alex, as usual, again when something caught our eyes. It was Morgan and his gang. Wait, were they approaching us?
"Hey, yo, Amy...So...how's your dandy dude?" Laugh from his friends.
"What?"
"Hey, Morgan, you want a burger?"Shane called innocently.
"Look, I don't know what you're talking about. I think it's better if you just leave us alone." Irritation was in my voice. If I couldn't handle O'Connor, worse of Morgan.
"Nah way. What? After your boyfriend made a hell of me?"
"Boyfriend? Are you nuts? I don't have..."
"ha! Denying him? He's gonna be very, very mad at ya baby. Hey, listen Amy..."
"For heaven's sake Morgan. Don't call me that way like you...know me" And I stood losing my temper on him. We were face to face and I could clearly see his black eyes.
Shane stood by me too, grasping my arm. She knew I was a low- tempered woman. And that I didn't back off from guys.
"Forgot what he told you?" I heard Shane broke the silence. "He said, stay away from her or you'll be dead."
I saw Morgan choked. What was that all about? After one last look, Morgan left.
I looked at Shane who went back to her food like nothing happened. I sat beside her and noticed she was staring at me.
"Something to say Shane?"
"Nothing yet. But...you, you have something to disclose today."
"Me?"
"Yeah, you." She leaned over to come closer."Tell me about Brian."
I felt my blood raced to my face when I heard his name. Did Shane knew about it already? But how?
"W- what are you saying? I- I don't know anything about him." I said nervously spilling some juice from the can I bought. And oh, it was warm now.
"Relax. Why are you so nervous hearing his name?" She laughed.
"Stop it Shane.Just tell who the HE you were pertaining to Morgan."
"Oh, It's him."
"Him? Who's he? C'mon Shane I-"
"Brian O'Connor"
"W-what do you mean?"
She munched her food again and savor it for some seconds before speaking.
"I saw them, he and Morgan. On the hallway. They were talking but i wasn't able to hear it. I was too distant. But ah...I think Morgan somewhat offended him that he just...grabbed him and slammed him on the lockers. I, I was about to stop them wen I heard your name. Brian was warning Morgan about playing dirty tricks on you. He said 'hands off her'"
I needed time to collect myself. "He...did that? I mean, we- we barely know each other."
"I know. At first, I was confused about it too but, you see, Morgan have just proven my speculations." She smiled at me once more."Maybe he likes you."
"You shut up Shane!" I nearly fell off my seat while she was laughing at me.
"Well, no one can be certain of that. O'Connor's one man, aloof with others. He used to be alone but, I'm sure of one thing Amy."
"What?" I said spying around to track him. In a snap,I was conscious that he was around. I didn't want him to hear that we were talking about him.
"Whatever Morgan told him about you, it offended him."
12:41pm
He was so unbelievable. I couldn't believe he admitted it that easy.I meant, stalking was a serious matter and yet he claimed to do it without second thought. He even smiled. He managed to. Things were getting complicated. I didn't know but, there was this instinct telling me that we were somewhat connected. A link? But how? Why?
I didn't know, I really didn't. Dammit. Why did I walk out anyway? I could have answers from him if I wanted to, but I walked out! No, Ameylia. He was just so tough. He didn't want to give me answers. He didn't tell me exactly why he was following me. It was the biggest question, and the most important. I heard many stories like this one. Like, those of the celebrities. But I was not a superstar to attract maniacs like him. Ah! I was so frustrated. I couldn't handle him. Now that I knew it was him, I was more anxious about this guy. I didn't think I could talk to him once more. Or even look at him. Okay, that was it. I would just avoid him. Ignore him all year round. Until we separated ways.
I saw Shane coming with a tray of burger and her favorite soda. She sat beside me with a wide grin.
"Diet?" I said as I started to munch my sandwich I left frozen in the tray because of wondering about Brian.
"Not really. Alex told me I'm gettin' fat so...I'll just have these for lunch."
"You mean, THIS? You think a burger can burn your fats?"
"Haha. So, hello with your sandwich," and she grabbed the can and opened it.
She was talking about Alex, as usual, again when something caught our eyes. It was Morgan and his gang. Wait, were they approaching us?
"Hey, yo, Amy...So...how's your dandy dude?" Laugh from his friends.
"What?"
"Hey, Morgan, you want a burger?"Shane called innocently.
"Look, I don't know what you're talking about. I think it's better if you just leave us alone." Irritation was in my voice. If I couldn't handle O'Connor, worse of Morgan.
"Nah way. What? After your boyfriend made a hell of me?"
"Boyfriend? Are you nuts? I don't have..."
"ha! Denying him? He's gonna be very, very mad at ya baby. Hey, listen Amy..."
"For heaven's sake Morgan. Don't call me that way like you...know me" And I stood losing my temper on him. We were face to face and I could clearly see his black eyes.
Shane stood by me too, grasping my arm. She knew I was a low- tempered woman. And that I didn't back off from guys.
"Forgot what he told you?" I heard Shane broke the silence. "He said, stay away from her or you'll be dead."
I saw Morgan choked. What was that all about? After one last look, Morgan left.
I looked at Shane who went back to her food like nothing happened. I sat beside her and noticed she was staring at me.
"Something to say Shane?"
"Nothing yet. But...you, you have something to disclose today."
"Me?"
"Yeah, you." She leaned over to come closer."Tell me about Brian."
I felt my blood raced to my face when I heard his name. Did Shane knew about it already? But how?
"W- what are you saying? I- I don't know anything about him." I said nervously spilling some juice from the can I bought. And oh, it was warm now.
"Relax. Why are you so nervous hearing his name?" She laughed.
"Stop it Shane.Just tell who the HE you were pertaining to Morgan."
"Oh, It's him."
"Him? Who's he? C'mon Shane I-"
"Brian O'Connor"
"W-what do you mean?"
She munched her food again and savor it for some seconds before speaking.
"I saw them, he and Morgan. On the hallway. They were talking but i wasn't able to hear it. I was too distant. But ah...I think Morgan somewhat offended him that he just...grabbed him and slammed him on the lockers. I, I was about to stop them wen I heard your name. Brian was warning Morgan about playing dirty tricks on you. He said 'hands off her'"
I needed time to collect myself. "He...did that? I mean, we- we barely know each other."
"I know. At first, I was confused about it too but, you see, Morgan have just proven my speculations." She smiled at me once more."Maybe he likes you."
"You shut up Shane!" I nearly fell off my seat while she was laughing at me.
"Well, no one can be certain of that. O'Connor's one man, aloof with others. He used to be alone but, I'm sure of one thing Amy."
"What?" I said spying around to track him. In a snap,I was conscious that he was around. I didn't want him to hear that we were talking about him.
"Whatever Morgan told him about you, it offended him."
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Beyond Shadows (10th entry)
Brian O'Connor
11:45am
I was carried out. So much carried out that i admitted the whole truth about stalking her. Well, not the whole truth as it was anyway. When she asked me why I was doing it, I just said truth- that I had to. Nothing else. When she inquired about how long I had been watching her every move, I said "For a month now, since I first saw you."
I was carried out, yes. But there was something else that pushed me not to lie to her. She wasn't able to sleep last night. At eleven, her lights were turned off but it was on again at 2am. She was just like that. She could not sleep if she was bothered about something. She'd been like that ever since I came and I couldn't let her this way. She was killing herself.
"Hey, Brian!" A huge, husky voice interrupted me. I saw it was Morgan. We were classmates in Literature and English classes. He was kinda nice. In fact, he was the first one to approach me on my first day here in West. I stopped walking and turned to him. He was alone? Well, that was unusual. Normally, in this time of day, he would be with George and Nick flirting with girls anywhere they wanted. But there was something in him that often pissed me off- it was how he looked at Ameylia.
"Hey," I answered.
He had a big smile when he tapped me on my shoulder. "Wazzup man?"
"Just the usual." Ha, dumb answer. Good Brian, you were just making this thing just as nice as you could. We walked on the hallway then.
"So, how's your talk with the White girl?" I felt a sudden excitement in his voice.
"White girl?"
"Yeah, I saw you back there, just after class." I hated that silly smile. I was starting to get annoyed.
"Ah, Ameylia." I nodded, trying to entertain myself with the sight of the students strolling here and there.
" Lucky man, huh? Ya know, I was a bit shocked that she talked to ya. I mean, she doesn't speak a lot. Only with close friends."
"Really." Why I hated his face right now? He was playing with something in his mind.
"But she's wonderful dude." A chuckle.
"Yeah,she is."
"No, I mean..."He stopped and faced me as I stopped too and did the same.
"She's so...sexy man.Ya know, when she dances...agh! The butt man!" And his eyes got bigger. His white teeth shimmering in his dark face.
What was it? I could feel my body heat up.
"And she's...ah, the br.."
I couldn't handle it anymore. And then I felt my hands grabbed him on the neck and pushed him against the lockers.
"Hey! man, c'mon...what's wrong with you?" he asked nervously.
Eyes around were on us, but i was too mad to notice... and to care. It was this asshole i wanted to give some attention.
"Listen," almost a whisper. "Don't ever mess up with her...or I'll kick your ass in hell.Do you understand me?" I could feel him trembling against my arm. I was grabbing him to hard that he couldn't breathe so he just nodded.
I felt at little ease. I let go of him and let him collect his thoughts after the shock. Maybe I was too harsh. I was about to leave but...
"Bear this in mind fella." I said with my back on him. When I looked back, he was still there,looking at me with heavy breathes.
Silence.
"She's mine."
11:45am
I was carried out. So much carried out that i admitted the whole truth about stalking her. Well, not the whole truth as it was anyway. When she asked me why I was doing it, I just said truth- that I had to. Nothing else. When she inquired about how long I had been watching her every move, I said "For a month now, since I first saw you."
I was carried out, yes. But there was something else that pushed me not to lie to her. She wasn't able to sleep last night. At eleven, her lights were turned off but it was on again at 2am. She was just like that. She could not sleep if she was bothered about something. She'd been like that ever since I came and I couldn't let her this way. She was killing herself.
"Hey, Brian!" A huge, husky voice interrupted me. I saw it was Morgan. We were classmates in Literature and English classes. He was kinda nice. In fact, he was the first one to approach me on my first day here in West. I stopped walking and turned to him. He was alone? Well, that was unusual. Normally, in this time of day, he would be with George and Nick flirting with girls anywhere they wanted. But there was something in him that often pissed me off- it was how he looked at Ameylia.
"Hey," I answered.
He had a big smile when he tapped me on my shoulder. "Wazzup man?"
"Just the usual." Ha, dumb answer. Good Brian, you were just making this thing just as nice as you could. We walked on the hallway then.
"So, how's your talk with the White girl?" I felt a sudden excitement in his voice.
"White girl?"
"Yeah, I saw you back there, just after class." I hated that silly smile. I was starting to get annoyed.
"Ah, Ameylia." I nodded, trying to entertain myself with the sight of the students strolling here and there.
" Lucky man, huh? Ya know, I was a bit shocked that she talked to ya. I mean, she doesn't speak a lot. Only with close friends."
"Really." Why I hated his face right now? He was playing with something in his mind.
"But she's wonderful dude." A chuckle.
"Yeah,she is."
"No, I mean..."He stopped and faced me as I stopped too and did the same.
"She's so...sexy man.Ya know, when she dances...agh! The butt man!" And his eyes got bigger. His white teeth shimmering in his dark face.
What was it? I could feel my body heat up.
"And she's...ah, the br.."
I couldn't handle it anymore. And then I felt my hands grabbed him on the neck and pushed him against the lockers.
"Hey! man, c'mon...what's wrong with you?" he asked nervously.
Eyes around were on us, but i was too mad to notice... and to care. It was this asshole i wanted to give some attention.
"Listen," almost a whisper. "Don't ever mess up with her...or I'll kick your ass in hell.Do you understand me?" I could feel him trembling against my arm. I was grabbing him to hard that he couldn't breathe so he just nodded.
I felt at little ease. I let go of him and let him collect his thoughts after the shock. Maybe I was too harsh. I was about to leave but...
"Bear this in mind fella." I said with my back on him. When I looked back, he was still there,looking at me with heavy breathes.
Silence.
"She's mine."
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