Beyond Shadows (12th entry)

Brian O' Connor
7th Drive
10pm

Ameylia just got worst. She hadn't had nice sleeps even more since we talked two days ago. And she started to avoid me. I knew she was trying not to look at me every second. But I couldn't do anything. I couldn't approach her. Another frustration- I could not even say "hi" to her. I should not. We shouldn't make any contact or I'll find it harder to do what I had to.Of course I couldn't tell her, "hey Ameylia, you know what? You're dying any time now, yeah, right now." Shit.

Her lights was still on and she had sneaked out of the window for the 10th time now since she got home from school. Maybe she was looking for that black Ford.Maybe it was what she had been watching over for some nights just before that stupid conversation. She was so weird. I meant, she could hardly notice things which were so apparent and yet, she noticed me already. Yeah, I knew. I wasn't good in this type of job like, a secret agent from an agency or something. And I had already accepted that in any day of the current week, I would be caught.

Wait. Brian, Brian think about it. No, she was not the weirdo. How did I miss it? She wasn't ignorant like what I was thinking of her. Remember Brian, she asked you. She confronted you. She had a hint already, so she was not ignorant for she got you. She knew you were that guy who was hiding on the shadows of every road she was taking. You were not a louzy stalker. You were just too obvious, but not because you were like this but because...you meant it. You never wanted to hide from her. You had always wanted to talk to her, to walk next to her, to drive her home and keep her safe in your own arms.Besides, you weren't just doing it for a dead Trent who asked you to protect her. You were doing it because you wanted to. You didn't want to see her being hurt, or being a victim of Morgan's dirty head. You could not stand to see her dying. Brian, this was the truth you could not escape... and deny.

The thought exhausted me. It made me put down the binocular in my hand and sat carelessly on the sofa. The chill got me off. It was the aircon, of course. It was my new apartment. 300 meters away from her's. I had a more lucid dream of her accident again last night, or day. I wasn't sure. It was a nap.and it alarmed me so much that I woke up sweating, pulled my clothes out the closet, packed it, payed the landlady and drag myself here, at 7th Drive- where she was. Was I too serious with what I vowed to Trent? Hell, I knew it wasn't the reason why I was like this anymore. Godammit. Brian, how could all these happen to you?